God’s Word on Marriage Adjustment

God’s word speaks on many issues that relate to adjustment in marriage, including communication, dealing with conflict, sex, decision-making and finances.

Communication

• 1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV
  Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
• I Peter 3:7 ESV
  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way-showing honor to the woman since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
• I Peter 3:8-9 ESV
  Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
• 1 John 4:7 ESV
  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Dealing with conflict

• Matthew 12:25 ESV
  Knowing their thoughts, he said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand.
• 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NIV
  To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
• I Corinthians 7:12-17 NIV
  To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
• I Corinthians 7:39-40 NIV
  A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Sexual issues

• Matthew 5:27-30 NIV
  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
• 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 ESV
  Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
• Hebrews 13:4 ESV
  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Decision-making

• Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
• Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
• Proverbs 16:1-4 ESV
  The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished.
• Proverbs 16:9 NIV
  In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
• James 1:5 ESV
  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
• 1 John 5:14 ESV
  And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

Finances

• Proverbs 13:22 ESV
  A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
• Proverbs 21:20 ESV
  Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.
• Proverbs 22:7 ESV
  The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
• Haggai 2:8 ESV
  The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the Lord of hosts.
• Luke 6:38 ESV
  Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
• Luke 14:28 ESV
  For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?
• Luke 16:11 ESV
  If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches?
• 1 Timothy 5:8 ESV
  But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
• 1 Timothy 6:10-11 ESV
  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.
• Hebrews 13:5-6 ESV
  Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
• James 1:17 ESV
  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.