Ministry Resources

To Resolve Conflict

Author: Robert J. Young

The first step in resolving conflict is to disagree with respect and communication.

Here are five easily remembered helps. Why not START today to resolve the conflicts of your life?

Stop. Take a moment to breathe deeply. Take a moment to pray. Slow down the process. This will give you time to redirect and keep yourself from responses that will only intensify the conflict. This is the first step toward controlling temper and avoiding whining, nagging, arguing, challenging, excusing, or blaming.

Think. Put your mind in gear. Why is it important to resolve this conflict? What kinds of talk will be appropriate? What are your motives? What words will be most helpful?

Accept. Accept the situation as it is. Thinking clearly about the situation will help you appeal to the other person in an honorable way. Use an appropriate voice, aware of body language, and be ready to listen to the other person’s viewpoint.

Response. The relationship that enables genuine resolution is characterized by humility and understanding. The goal in conflict resolution is the reestablish relationship. Relationship does not depend upon agreement. It is important to realize that whether or not agreement is reached concerning a particular point, the relationship can remain healthy.

Thanksgiving. Remember to include God in the process again. Among Christians, a most helpful conclusion to the process is the opportunity to pray together.

©, 2004, Robert J. Young. Used by permission. All rights reserved. For more information, please visit

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