Risk Factors for Marital Problems

Is it possible to know what factors in a person’s life might contribute to marriage difficulties?

Static Risk Factors

Many of these risk factors relate to stable, individual characteristics of each partner. You could think of these factors this way: all other thing being equal, the more these factors are present in the lives and backgrounds of the marriage partners, the greater the risk to the well-being of that marriage over time. Here is a list of such factors. The list is not exhaustive, but it covers the biggies.

• Have a personality tendency to react strongly or defensively to problems and disappointments in life.
• Having divorced parents.
• Being previously divorced yourself, or your partner.
• Having different religious backgrounds.
• Marrying at a very young age.
• Knowing each other for only a short time before marriage.
• Experiencing financial hardship.

There is something very important about this list that we’d like you to notice: once a couple is married, they can do nothing to directly ignore any of these risks. In our academic publications, we call these factors static because they are relatively unchangeable, but they can be understood and worked through. Reflecting personally on these factors can be useful in understanding how much risk the two of you may have, but there is little you can do to change any of these without honest communication, and giving them over to the father. Though it will take some time.

In contrast to the static factors shown in the preceding list, there are risk factors that relate more directly to how you treat one another, how you communicate, and how you think about your relationship. We call these dynamic risk factors because, although they do increase the risk that a couple won’t do well, being honest and open with your partner about these things can change the course of the marriage quickly.

The following can all be changed with some thought, choices and effort.

• Negative styles of talking and fighting with each other, such as arguments that rapidly become negative, put-downs, and the silent treatment
• Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree
• Trouble handling disagreements as a team
• Unrealistic beliefs about marriage
• Different attitudes about important things
• A low level of commitment to one another, reflected in such behavior as failing to protect your relationship from others you are attracted to or failing to view your marriage as a long-term investment
• Not practicing faith together

Remember, your spouse is your partner in life. They want your friendship and relationship to succeed just as much as you do. Even if you have experienced any of these risk factors, they can only hinder your marriage if you refrain from discussing them fully with your partner. Together you can work through any of these issues as one faithful unit!