Ministry Resources

Finding the Yes in Every No

Author: Angela Craig


Do you ever find it hard to ask for what you want or what you need?

In the past, I was infamous for trying to do everything on my own. Asking for help was not apart of my vocabulary. My “do it yourself” attitude consistently left me disappointed when my efforts didn’t match the reward I was working towards. I always seemed to come up short. It wasn’t until I made the word: ASK, my word of the year – that is when I saw a shift in my thinking.

I decided to be bold and begin changing the assumptions I had about asking for help. It wasn’t soon after I made that decision that I realize my “do it yourself” attitude went again a few of my core values: Teamwork, collaboration, and trust. Maybe you can relate?

Do you have a vision for advancing your career but you are afraid to ask for the training, promotion or the raise that will get you there. Or do you find it hard to ask for what you need in your intimate relationships, burying your true desires and wishes. You may even find your inability to ask affect the small things in life. Like, choosing not to stop the waitress to ask her for ketchup for your fries when it looks like she might tear her hair out, she is so busy.

4 assumptions we make when we don’t ask:

  • They will think I am stupid/ignorant.
  • They will reject me.
  • Their opinion is more important than my wants and needs.
  • My request may burden or inconvenience him or her.

How to find YES in every NO!

Asking for what you need and what you want shows your humility and compliments the person you are asking. When you ask someone for something, you show your trust and adoration in their ability to share information or get the job done. People who work in collaboration reach their goals faster. Don’t discount what you are offering the person you ask.

Understand the odds of rejection. In sales, the “ask” is a math equation to by solve, not an emotional conquest. Research shows that for every eleven no’s a sales person will get one yes.

Remember: Math not emotion. Timing is everything when you are asking for something. Don’t take a no, personal. Remain thankful and optimistic. Believe that the person would help you if they were in the position to do it. You are that cool!

If you are a person who is generous in service to others, trust that those you have surrounded yourself with are the same. Your requests would never be a burden, only a joy to fulfill.

Lastly, if the door to your dreams is closed, go through the window. NEVER GIVE UP! You were made for greatness!

In life and leadership,


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